1 00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:57,405 ♪ If you'll open up your soul ♪ 2 00:00:57,535 --> 00:00:59,755 ♪ And let my love come in ♪ 3 00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:05,065 ♪ If you'll spread your lovely arms ♪ 4 00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:07,893 ♪ The sky will start to spin ♪ 5 00:01:08,024 --> 00:01:09,678 ♪ Yeah ♪ 6 00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:13,464 ♪ Aren't you feeling a great big vibration ♪ 7 00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:17,120 ♪ And a warm flow of anticipation ♪ 8 00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:20,341 ♪ With a flood of sensation ♪ 9 00:01:20,471 --> 00:01:22,821 ♪ You know that in the end ♪ 10 00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:25,085 ♪ You'll give in ♪ 11 00:01:26,956 --> 00:01:28,740 ♪ Groove into it ♪ 12 00:01:28,871 --> 00:01:30,177 ♪ Yeah ♪ 13 00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:32,614 ♪ Just let yourself groove into it ♪ 14 00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:35,921 ♪ Come on move into it ♪ 15 00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:37,662 ♪ Yeah ♪ 16 00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:40,056 ♪ Be free and you'll groove into it ♪ 17 00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:41,927 ♪ Yeah ♪ 18 00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:45,366 ♪ I wanna move and groove and move and groove and move ♪ 19 00:01:45,496 --> 00:01:48,499 ♪ And fill you with my love ♪ 20 00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:57,421 ♪ On the soft sand of a beach ♪ 21 00:01:57,552 --> 00:01:59,771 ♪ All warm upon your skin ♪ 22 00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:04,515 ♪ Let the juices of a peach ♪ 23 00:02:04,646 --> 00:02:07,866 ♪ Go runnin' down your chin ♪ 24 00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:09,346 ♪ Yeah ♪ 25 00:02:09,477 --> 00:02:12,871 ♪ Let's go diving in Pussycat fountains ♪ 26 00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:16,353 ♪ Let's go climbing in Pussycat mountains ♪ 27 00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:18,703 ♪ Let's walk the clouds ♪ 28 00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:20,096 ♪ Let's fly the wind ♪ 29 00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:21,750 ♪ Let's touch the sun ♪ 30 00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:26,189 ♪ So groove into it ♪ 31 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:27,973 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 32 00:02:28,104 --> 00:02:31,325 ♪ Be free, just groove into it Come on ♪ 33 00:02:31,455 --> 00:02:33,805 ♪ Come on, move into it ♪ 34 00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:35,242 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 35 00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:39,028 ♪ You'll see you'll groove into it ♪ 36 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:44,294 ♪ I wanna move and groove and move and groove and move ♪ 37 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:48,168 ♪ I wanna groove ♪ 38 00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:56,611 ♪ Pussycat, Pussycat ♪ 39 00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:59,396 Rome, the eternal city. 40 00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:04,488 The Colosseum, a monument to Julius Caesar. 41 00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:12,017 The Trevi Fountain, a monument to Pope Alexander. 42 00:03:12,148 --> 00:03:16,283 Piazza Navona, a monument to the great Bernini. 43 00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:21,201 St. Peter's, a monument to God. 44 00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:28,991 The traffic jam, a monument to Henry Ford. 45 00:03:33,474 --> 00:03:35,998 Fred Dobbs. 46 00:03:36,128 --> 00:03:40,002 He's more worried about losing his hair than losing his wife. 47 00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:43,179 Right now he's late to his appointment with his scalp therapist. 48 00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:44,485 This man. 49 00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:48,880 Anna, my dear, may I see you a moment? 50 00:03:53,581 --> 00:03:57,367 His name is Dr. Fahrquardt. 51 00:03:57,498 --> 00:03:59,717 He has no degree. That's his name. 52 00:03:59,848 --> 00:04:01,893 Like yours is Irving, his is doctor. 53 00:04:05,419 --> 00:04:07,638 Meet Anna, the doctor's wife. 54 00:04:11,076 --> 00:04:14,384 Few of us are happily married, but this is ridiculous. 55 00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:01,692 Tell, come on. Tell me. 56 00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:03,651 I'm losing my hair, I just know it. Look. 57 00:05:03,781 --> 00:05:06,741 Let me worry about your hair. 58 00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:11,354 Now, just tell me about all those girls, eh? 59 00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:14,618 Dr. Fahrquardt is interested in Fred's sex life 60 00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:17,012 because he gets none of his own. 61 00:05:17,142 --> 00:05:20,320 Having met his wife, you can understand why. 62 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:21,756 Who said anything about girls? 63 00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:25,673 I did. Just now. Didn't you hear me? 64 00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:27,979 What's the matter? You losing your hearing, too? 65 00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:30,025 Too? Then I am losing my hair. You... 66 00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:31,766 Even as we speak. 67 00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:35,770 But so long as these two hands... 68 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:38,990 God bless them....keep their skill, 69 00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:42,124 you'll have a little something left to comb. 70 00:05:42,254 --> 00:05:45,780 This clown really believes he's a scalp therapist. 71 00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:48,565 The sad thing is his patients believe it, too. 72 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,872 I... 73 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:52,961 just couldn't stand being bald. 74 00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:55,093 Who could? 75 00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:58,488 It's disgusting. All that empty space gleaming up at everybody 76 00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:00,360 like an undiapered baby. 77 00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,449 Oh, it's obscene. 78 00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:05,713 No more so than your dream about being shipwrecked on that desert island. 79 00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:08,455 Just you and that male gorilla. 80 00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:16,071 Low pain threshold, eh? 81 00:06:16,201 --> 00:06:18,247 You must have been pretty scared of that gorilla. 82 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,249 Terrified. 83 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,685 Perfectly normal. 84 00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:26,386 Well, the hell he was. He fell in love with me. 85 00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:29,519 I love you. 86 00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:31,434 I ran. 87 00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:33,654 Oh, masculine protest, eh? 88 00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:35,395 Then why can't you run from those girls? 89 00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:38,006 It's not the same thing. 90 00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:40,704 You're right... 91 00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:43,881 You're, you're right. You're right. I can't say no. 92 00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:48,059 My darling wife, for example. 93 00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:50,235 To whom you're criminally unfaithful. 94 00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:52,020 My Mistress Ornella. 95 00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:55,719 With whom you've had your way, as the old books put it. 96 00:06:55,850 --> 00:06:58,461 And some of those old books put it rather well. 97 00:06:58,592 --> 00:07:01,072 I bet you underlined all the hot passages. 98 00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:03,074 You sex clod! 99 00:07:03,205 --> 00:07:05,947 It's like a disease. And then this wild, new pussycat. 100 00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:07,775 What? Gwendolyn. 101 00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:09,298 Gwen-do-lyn. 102 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,039 I hate to tell you about Gwendolyn. 103 00:07:11,169 --> 00:07:12,910 What hate? 104 00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:14,129 It's the least you can do while I stand here 105 00:07:14,259 --> 00:07:16,784 trying to save your morally exhausted hair. 106 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,614 I am most grateful. 107 00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:22,050 As well you should be. 108 00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,661 Without me you'd be a melon with eyes. 109 00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:26,533 Now tell me about this... 110 00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:28,448 Gwen... 111 00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:30,275 I couldn't say no to Gwen. 112 00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:32,321 She was cold, unattainable. The absolute end. 113 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,584 Oh, a real pageant, go. 114 00:07:34,715 --> 00:07:37,108 We were alone together, by accident. 115 00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:41,112 Gwen... 116 00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:43,419 I don't care if I am your wife's sister. 117 00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:44,899 It's more erotic this way. 118 00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:46,727 Right. 119 00:07:46,857 --> 00:07:48,685 If it happens, it happens, Pussycat. 120 00:07:48,816 --> 00:07:50,731 Let nature take its course. 121 00:07:50,861 --> 00:07:52,167 Right. 122 00:07:52,297 --> 00:07:54,343 I dig nature.Right. 123 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,953 It's beautiful. I dig nature. 124 00:07:56,998 --> 00:07:57,868 Start digging. 125 00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:07,487 My time's up. 126 00:08:07,617 --> 00:08:09,227 But time... 127 00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:11,795 What is time when 128 00:08:11,926 --> 00:08:14,537 scalp-wise a scientific breakthrough is imminent? 129 00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:20,108 Easy, now, easy, Victor Vicarious. 130 00:08:20,238 --> 00:08:22,197 You interested in my scalp or my women? 131 00:08:22,327 --> 00:08:25,287 Oh, don't give me that holier-than-thou attitude, Clyde. 132 00:08:25,417 --> 00:08:27,507 If just once 133 00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:30,118 I treated your rapidly vanishing hair 134 00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:31,859 without checking on the distaff action, 135 00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:34,035 you'd choke with frustration. 136 00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:36,385 You dig re-living it. 137 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,995 That's how sick you are. 138 00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,129 No.Yes. 139 00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:43,566 No.Yes. 140 00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:46,308 No! Yes! 141 00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:47,439 No! Yes! 142 00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:48,832 No! Yes! 143 00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:49,833 No! Yes! 144 00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:51,226 Yes! Yes! 145 00:08:51,356 --> 00:08:53,184 Yes! Yes! 146 00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:55,186 Yes! Yes! Yes! 147 00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:56,840 Desist, sir! 148 00:08:56,971 --> 00:08:59,451 Cease these unmanly tears immediately, 149 00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:03,194 or I shall be forced to lock you in the little dark room. Ah? 150 00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:07,634 Now, calm for your own good. 151 00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:10,593 Tell? 152 00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:13,161 You bet your scalp. 153 00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:16,947 It all started at the Battle of the Bulge. 154 00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:19,341 The Battle of the Bulge? 155 00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:22,170 A ladies' reducing salon. 156 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,346 Oh, they take men on Tuesdays and Thursdays. 157 00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:26,653 And you went on Friday? 158 00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:28,568 Well, I am, er, normal. 159 00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:56,247 Good afternoon, Madame. 160 00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:58,685 My name's Liz. I hope you enjoy your massage. 161 00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:08,564 Hello. 162 00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:10,087 I don't know who you are, 163 00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:12,263 but get the hell out of here before I call the polizia. 164 00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:14,396 Pussycat, 165 00:10:14,526 --> 00:10:17,268 if you were going to call the polizia, would you be whispering? 166 00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:19,749 I'll give you that. What do you want? 167 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,533 Don't you remember? My name's Fred C. Dobbs. 168 00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:22,839 From that big party at the villa. 169 00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:25,059 Oh, yes. 170 00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:27,061 How've you been? Very well, thank you. And you? 171 00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:28,715 Fine, thank you. 172 00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:30,586 And now that the social interlude is over, 173 00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,632 kindly get the hell out of here or I'll lose me job. 174 00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:34,721 Oh, you disappoint me. 175 00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:36,810 A pox on your disappointment. Out. 176 00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:49,083 A man. 177 00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:43,050 Oh, that was a good one. 178 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:45,139 Well, one does one's best. 179 00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:47,489 One got one fired from one's job. 180 00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:49,578 I'm terribly sorry. 181 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,145 Look, it wasn't my fault. 182 00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:53,364 I didn't know those women were going to react like that. 183 00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:56,237 Promise to make it up to one in a big way. 184 00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:57,455 'Ow big? 185 00:11:57,586 --> 00:11:59,457 Modesty prevents one from saying. 186 00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,372 Does one live far? Near. 187 00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:02,504 Good. With one's mum. 188 00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:03,984 Bad. 189 00:12:04,114 --> 00:12:06,943 Look, maybe we can save it for another night. 190 00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:08,945 Don't let's lose one's head. 191 00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:11,469 One's losing one's mood. 192 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,254 I'll come up with something. 193 00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:18,738 Fernando. Fernando? 194 00:12:18,868 --> 00:12:20,914 Fernando. Fernando? 195 00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:23,133 Look, did I wake you? 196 00:12:23,264 --> 00:12:25,483 Is it really? 197 00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:26,702 You're right, you know? 198 00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:29,183 Quarter to 5:00 on the button. Right. 199 00:12:29,313 --> 00:12:30,401 Fever? 200 00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:32,882 A hundred and four? 201 00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:35,493 Listen, Fernando. 202 00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:38,496 Make sure you get plenty of Aspirin and hot juices. 203 00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:40,716 Fernando, I need a favor. 204 00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:42,152 Would you mind going to an all-night movie for a couple of hours 205 00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:43,719 and letting me use your place? 206 00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:46,548 Fernando? 207 00:12:46,678 --> 00:12:47,897 Fernando, pronto. 208 00:12:48,028 --> 00:12:49,551 Fernando, pronto. 209 00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:51,248 Pronto, Fernando. 210 00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:53,598 Fernando, pro... We were disconnected. 211 00:12:53,729 --> 00:12:56,297 That usually 'appens when the other party hangs up. 212 00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:00,736 Look, it's late. 213 00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:02,782 I'm tired. 214 00:13:02,912 --> 00:13:04,174 I want to go 'ome. 215 00:13:04,305 --> 00:13:05,523 Go home? 216 00:13:06,568 --> 00:13:08,265 But we haven't eve... 217 00:13:08,700 --> 00:13:09,571 We... 218 00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:11,834 We haven't. 219 00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:14,141 Well, let's say we have. 220 00:13:14,271 --> 00:13:16,360 I'll back you up if you want to brag to your friends. 221 00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:18,972 You've got me all wrong. I'm a gentleman. I would never dream of talking... 222 00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:20,451 Unless it actually 'appened. 223 00:13:20,582 --> 00:13:22,062 Well, of course. 224 00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:24,542 Well, let's say it did. You know, mentally. 225 00:13:27,502 --> 00:13:28,459 Mentally? 226 00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:32,942 Somehow or other it's 227 00:13:33,073 --> 00:13:34,726 not quite as much fun. 228 00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,163 I didn't think it would be. 229 00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:43,257 You can't leave me here like this. 230 00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:46,129 Oh, no! But I've got a car. 231 00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:48,610 That's the first nice thing you've said to me tonight. 232 00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:50,917 Fernando? 233 00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:52,657 Fernando, how you feeling, kid? 234 00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:54,529 Any better? 235 00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:57,227 That high, huh? 236 00:13:57,358 --> 00:14:01,710 Well, we won't be using your place after all, she's got a car. Now listen, Fernan... 237 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,320 Hold on a moment, would you? 238 00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:08,586 My dear. 239 00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:13,504 Man talk. 240 00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,335 If Millie calls, I'm with you. If Ornella checks, the same goes for her. 241 00:14:18,466 --> 00:14:20,685 Goodbye. Hm? 242 00:14:20,816 --> 00:14:23,036 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, Millie is my wife. 243 00:14:23,166 --> 00:14:24,864 Ornella's my mistress. 244 00:14:26,082 --> 00:14:28,302 Fernando, you've got to remember. 245 00:14:28,432 --> 00:14:29,912 Millie, wife. 246 00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,566 Ornella, mistress. 247 00:14:33,437 --> 00:14:34,612 Write it down. 248 00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:37,833 Hm? 249 00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:40,575 Get up and get a pencil. 250 00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:43,621 Well, open the oxygen tent and get one from the doctor. 251 00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:46,842 Well, ask the priest if he has one. 252 00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:49,671 Fernando? Fer... 253 00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:52,239 Fernando? Pronto! 254 00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:59,986 He's got a lot to learn about being a true friend. 255 00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:09,996 So, how was it? 256 00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:12,433 Huh? Beautiful. I loved it. Who doesn't? 257 00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:16,524 Still I'm eaten up with guilt. Millie, my poor wife. 258 00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:18,787 Oh, don't be such a worry wart. 259 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,137 You know the saying "Worry and care will make you lose your hair." 260 00:15:21,268 --> 00:15:22,922 That's an old wives' tale. 261 00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:25,315 How many bald old wives do you know? 262 00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:28,579 It's amazing, Doctor. 263 00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:32,453 After a session with you, I feel so completely unburdened. 264 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:34,890 Incredible what you accomplish with a mere scalp treatment. 265 00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:37,023 What scalp? 266 00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:39,460 I treat the total man from head to foot. 267 00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:41,070 With a stop in between at the wallet. 268 00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:42,724 Which reminds you... 269 00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:45,292 Tomorrow. And tomorrow, 270 00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:46,946 and tomorrow. 271 00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:50,253 And you'll tell me the details about the dream 272 00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:52,342 you're going to have tonight about the gorilla. 273 00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:55,563 I am not going to dream about that gorilla. 274 00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,521 Oh, the gorilla. He's closing on me. 275 00:15:57,652 --> 00:15:59,654 He's gaining on me. The gorilla. 276 00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:03,092 The gorilla. Oh. Oh. Oh. 277 00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:04,572 That dammed gorilla. 278 00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:06,704 A gorilla? 279 00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:08,837 He almost caught me this time and it's all that... 280 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,795 That Dr. Fahrquardt's fault. 281 00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:12,580 A gorilla, Fred, a gorilla? 282 00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:14,930 A big, hairy, 283 00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:16,976 horny, crazy, 284 00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,152 in-love gorilla. 285 00:16:20,153 --> 00:16:22,198 I'm losing my hair. I... 286 00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:37,387 Good night, Milton. 287 00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:39,085 I'm Millie. Who's Milton? 288 00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:41,261 What? Milton? 289 00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:43,611 Who's Milton? I don't know any Milton. 290 00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:46,309 Buona notte. Talk about it in the morning, please. 291 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:47,571 Buono notte. 292 00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:51,662 That's it. 293 00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:54,839 What's it? 294 00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:56,363 Gorilla's name. 295 00:16:58,582 --> 00:16:59,496 Milton? 296 00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:55,465 Pronto. 297 00:17:55,596 --> 00:17:56,684 Just a moment. 298 00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:59,252 It's Monsieur's tennis instructor. 299 00:18:01,558 --> 00:18:02,690 Pronto! 300 00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:05,301 Darling, I must see you. 301 00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:08,696 Yes, I know. A little more zip with my back hand. 302 00:18:08,826 --> 00:18:10,785 I miss you terribly. 303 00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:13,875 I know. Well, keep the court reserved. We'll play later. 304 00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:22,362 Oh, morning coffee. 305 00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:24,538 With the world's penultimate Pussycat. 306 00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,105 Who could ask for anything more? 307 00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:28,455 You, obviously. Huh? 308 00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:31,632 Fred, supposing a couple that married very young. 309 00:18:31,762 --> 00:18:32,763 Twenty, as we did? 310 00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:34,678 As we did, yes. 311 00:18:34,809 --> 00:18:38,421 Supposing this couple found that they were no longer in love. 312 00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:39,596 Were they at the beginning? 313 00:18:39,727 --> 00:18:41,381 Oh, yes, I think so. 314 00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:43,209 At least they thought they were. 315 00:18:43,339 --> 00:18:45,602 They're still deeply fond of each other. 316 00:18:45,733 --> 00:18:47,517 Deeply fond is a hell of a distance from in love. 317 00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,476 True. But they're still young. 318 00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:50,999 And they still have illusions. 319 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,609 Illusions? 320 00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:55,003 Romantic. Are there any other kind? 321 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,136 Those, my dear, are delusions. 322 00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:59,355 Be kind, Fred. They've got to have something. 323 00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:01,140 They don't have children. 324 00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:03,098 Neither do we, but we don't snivel about it, do we? 325 00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:04,795 Speak for yourself. 326 00:19:06,319 --> 00:19:08,843 Very well, I will. 327 00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:11,019 What this girl should do is find something to occupy her time. 328 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,629 Charity work. Needlepoint. 329 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,153 Rolling bandages for the Great War. 330 00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:15,763 What Great War? 331 00:19:15,893 --> 00:19:18,331 Any great war. 332 00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:20,768 Tell her to keep busy. The devil makes work for idle hands. 333 00:19:20,898 --> 00:19:23,074 Exactly, affairs. I... 334 00:19:23,205 --> 00:19:26,556 I told her this. It can be dangerous. 335 00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:29,559 On the other hand, how is she going to find "Mr. Right"? 336 00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:32,693 Mr. Right? God, how old-fashioned. 337 00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:35,565 It's only old-fashioned if she doesn't find him. 338 00:19:35,696 --> 00:19:38,960 And she's not getting any younger. 339 00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:41,658 And, and how is she going to find him if 340 00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:43,704 she doesn't go 341 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:46,881 looking? 342 00:19:55,803 --> 00:19:56,760 Looking? 343 00:19:57,892 --> 00:19:58,806 Mmm. 344 00:19:59,676 --> 00:20:01,635 Looking? 345 00:20:01,765 --> 00:20:04,768 Oh, well, that's certainly not old-fashioned, is it? 346 00:20:04,899 --> 00:20:06,944 No. 347 00:20:07,075 --> 00:20:10,121 But if she does find Mr. Right, 348 00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:12,298 it's everything, isn't it, Fred? 349 00:20:13,516 --> 00:20:14,517 Mmm? 350 00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:19,261 Of course it is, old girl, but... 351 00:20:19,392 --> 00:20:21,263 Well, I thought 352 00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:23,047 you said she was married. 353 00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:26,355 She is. But it didn't take. 354 00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:28,488 Like a weak vaccination. 355 00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:30,838 You seem awfully concerned about her but not a moment's thought about him. 356 00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:33,014 Oh, Fred, how unfair. 357 00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:36,670 To her, she worries about him all the time, 358 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:38,019 feels guilty... 359 00:20:38,149 --> 00:20:40,500 Guilty? About looking for somebody else. 360 00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:42,937 Could he manage to get along without her? 361 00:20:43,067 --> 00:20:46,462 I mean, he's never, well, sort of grown up. 362 00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:48,812 By choice. 363 00:20:48,943 --> 00:20:50,553 By choice! 364 00:20:50,684 --> 00:20:52,338 Tell her not to worry. 365 00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:55,515 For him the world is full of girls. The safety of numbers. 366 00:20:55,645 --> 00:20:57,256 Where he doesn't have to commit himself. 367 00:20:57,386 --> 00:21:00,737 Make a decision or even change his dialogue. Just change girls. 368 00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:06,177 You're making it sound like a play. 369 00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:09,398 Why don't you write it, Fred? A new idea for a comedy. 370 00:21:09,529 --> 00:21:11,574 Oh, no, no, no, no. It's very dramatic. 371 00:21:11,705 --> 00:21:13,272 If I dream it tonight, I'll give it to the gorilla. 372 00:21:13,402 --> 00:21:14,969 The gorilla? Oh, yes, 373 00:21:15,099 --> 00:21:17,711 he can certainly write a better play than I can. 374 00:21:17,841 --> 00:21:20,148 And now, please, let us end this interminable conversation 375 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,977 which seems to be hitting closer and closer to home. 376 00:21:23,107 --> 00:21:25,196 I meant it, too. I know. 377 00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:26,763 That's why I want it to end. 378 00:21:33,466 --> 00:21:37,034 The gorilla can certainly write a better play than I can. 379 00:21:37,165 --> 00:21:37,948 Why? 380 00:21:39,210 --> 00:21:41,300 Why, you ask? 381 00:21:41,430 --> 00:21:44,259 I didn't.Exactly. 382 00:21:44,390 --> 00:21:47,871 Because with a bunch of bananas and a warm cage he's got it made. 383 00:21:48,002 --> 00:21:50,526 He's not overdrawn at the bank as I am. 384 00:21:50,657 --> 00:21:54,356 Next time you get a tax attorney, get one who's been to college. 385 00:21:54,487 --> 00:21:55,879 It's hot, Millie. 386 00:21:56,010 --> 00:21:57,228 Er, Madame. 387 00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,143 Millie, Millie, I'm burning. 388 00:21:59,274 --> 00:22:00,754 Please, please! Quick! 389 00:22:00,884 --> 00:22:02,321 Butter. 390 00:22:02,451 --> 00:22:04,235 Butter? Butter for what? My lord, it's scorching, 391 00:22:04,366 --> 00:22:05,367 and you're talking about butter. 392 00:22:05,498 --> 00:22:07,456 Butter for a burn. It's a known fact. 393 00:22:09,545 --> 00:22:11,591 That's not where I got burned. 394 00:22:18,641 --> 00:22:20,556 Could that beacon of skin really be... 395 00:22:20,687 --> 00:22:22,863 Golly goodness, it is. 396 00:22:22,993 --> 00:22:24,952 Dr. Fahrquardt! 397 00:22:25,082 --> 00:22:26,910 How dare you come in here when I'm nude? 398 00:22:27,041 --> 00:22:28,216 Besides, I'm giving hydro-therapy. 399 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,087 Hydro-therapy to whom? 400 00:22:30,218 --> 00:22:32,220 To me, you marching moron. 401 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:34,048 I'm just as sick as anybody else. 402 00:22:34,178 --> 00:22:36,006 You have a victim waiting. 403 00:22:36,137 --> 00:22:39,358 Patient. And get out of here or I'll break every bone in your head. 404 00:22:39,488 --> 00:22:42,970 Don't threaten me, you pontifical quack. 405 00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:46,147 I have hated you since the moment I married you. 406 00:22:46,277 --> 00:22:48,454 Your pores are too large. 407 00:22:48,584 --> 00:22:49,977 You have pore slop. 408 00:22:53,807 --> 00:22:56,505 One step and I scatter your brains. 409 00:23:00,030 --> 00:23:02,163 Twenty years for hitting a man who's wearing glasses. 410 00:23:02,293 --> 00:23:03,643 You fat fool! 411 00:23:29,973 --> 00:23:30,713 Swine! 412 00:24:01,875 --> 00:24:04,747 May the student riots re-occur in your stomach! 413 00:24:09,752 --> 00:24:13,452 If Monsieur's tennis instructor calls again, what do I say? 414 00:24:13,582 --> 00:24:15,932 Tell him I'm having my racquet re-strung. 415 00:24:16,063 --> 00:24:19,066 One of these days, Madame may beat me to the phone. 416 00:24:19,196 --> 00:24:20,937 That has the ugly sound of blackmail. 417 00:24:21,068 --> 00:24:23,505 What you need is a secretary you can trust. 418 00:24:23,636 --> 00:24:27,161 Someone like my niece, Angelica. Someone young and active. 419 00:24:27,291 --> 00:24:28,379 Who's young and active? 420 00:24:28,510 --> 00:24:30,556 My niece, Angelica. 421 00:24:30,686 --> 00:24:32,296 Er, Monsieur has agreed to interview her. 422 00:24:32,427 --> 00:24:33,472 I've agreed to, er... 423 00:24:33,602 --> 00:24:35,082 This afternoon. 424 00:24:36,779 --> 00:24:38,389 This afternoon. 425 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:40,522 This afternoon I've got to visit my sister at the hospital. 426 00:24:40,653 --> 00:24:42,176 Gwendolyn? What's wrong with her? 427 00:24:42,306 --> 00:24:45,353 Her back. It's all scraped from sand at the beach. 428 00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:46,659 Her back? How did... 429 00:24:49,531 --> 00:24:51,968 Ah, well, that's what you get through digging nature. 430 00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:57,234 What? Give her a kiss for me. 431 00:26:05,738 --> 00:26:08,958 Well, stop looking back. So I started a little fire. 432 00:26:24,626 --> 00:26:26,541 Happy birthday, Fernando. 433 00:26:27,934 --> 00:26:29,936 Happy birthday, Fernando. 434 00:26:50,739 --> 00:26:52,741 It's good to be a chick. 435 00:27:10,454 --> 00:27:12,065 You're beautiful. 436 00:27:12,195 --> 00:27:13,632 I'm pregnant. 437 00:27:13,762 --> 00:27:16,547 It's your eyes, mostly. They're luminous. 438 00:27:16,678 --> 00:27:19,855 You wouldn't marry me even if I were carrying your child. 439 00:27:19,986 --> 00:27:22,553 Your mouth, too, fascinating. 440 00:27:22,684 --> 00:27:25,600 You've lost me. Goodbye forever. 441 00:27:25,731 --> 00:27:28,734 I love you. Don't you want to give your baby a name? 442 00:27:28,864 --> 00:27:31,867 Thank you, but that won't be necessary. 443 00:27:31,998 --> 00:27:35,131 I've just decided to think positive thoughts and not be pregnant. 444 00:27:38,265 --> 00:27:40,136 Positive thoughts? 445 00:27:52,061 --> 00:27:55,935 The question is, will you or won't you take off your clothes? 446 00:27:56,065 --> 00:27:58,372 Oh, hell, if it means that much to you. 447 00:27:58,502 --> 00:27:59,808 It does. 448 00:28:26,269 --> 00:28:28,141 Ah, paradise. 449 00:28:30,621 --> 00:28:31,753 Hey, 450 00:28:32,449 --> 00:28:33,799 it's you. 451 00:28:33,929 --> 00:28:36,279 The model from the dirty postcards. 452 00:28:36,410 --> 00:28:38,673 And you must be the creep that bought the whole pack. 453 00:28:38,804 --> 00:28:40,109 I am. I am. 454 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,416 I love you. 455 00:28:42,546 --> 00:28:44,157 Frankly, I love you, too. 456 00:28:44,940 --> 00:28:46,289 Go on. Go on. 457 00:28:46,420 --> 00:28:47,421 Ooh! 458 00:28:55,385 --> 00:28:56,473 Happy? 459 00:28:57,257 --> 00:28:58,998 Not until you marry me. 460 00:28:59,128 --> 00:29:01,391 And what do we do about my husband? 461 00:29:01,522 --> 00:29:04,351 Fernando, happy birthday! WOMAN: Happy birthday! 462 00:29:04,481 --> 00:29:06,962 Exactly what I have been doing about your husband. 463 00:29:07,093 --> 00:29:09,443 Deceiving him. You swine! 464 00:29:16,667 --> 00:29:19,279 Poor, oh, poor Moira. 465 00:29:19,409 --> 00:29:21,542 You, you're not still living with that person, are you? 466 00:29:21,672 --> 00:29:23,022 Gian Carlo? 467 00:29:23,152 --> 00:29:25,633 No, but he's still in my drama class. 468 00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:28,549 Good. Drama. Good. Good. 469 00:29:28,679 --> 00:29:31,508 I think you're so beautiful and I do think you can give of yourself. 470 00:29:31,639 --> 00:29:33,206 Oh, I can, I can. 471 00:29:33,336 --> 00:29:34,990 No, no. No, no. No, I meant as an actress. 472 00:29:35,121 --> 00:29:36,600 Mmm. Oh, that, too. 473 00:29:52,529 --> 00:29:53,574 Harvard? 474 00:29:53,704 --> 00:29:55,445 '65. 475 00:29:55,576 --> 00:29:57,099 Navy? Intelligence. 476 00:29:58,666 --> 00:30:00,320 Banking? National Trust. 477 00:30:01,582 --> 00:30:02,931 Homosexual? No. 478 00:30:03,802 --> 00:30:04,890 Pity. 479 00:30:05,847 --> 00:30:07,283 I could learn. 480 00:30:07,414 --> 00:30:08,154 Too late. 481 00:30:23,125 --> 00:30:26,650 Have you ever heard him speak? 482 00:30:26,781 --> 00:30:30,480 No. But then, I only studied with him for five years. 483 00:30:34,571 --> 00:30:38,140 I think he's finally going to speak. 484 00:30:40,490 --> 00:30:43,972 You've chosen a difficult path, my children. 485 00:30:45,974 --> 00:30:49,412 Why, Master? 486 00:30:49,543 --> 00:30:53,982 With all these beautiful broads, a Yoga can get pretty horny. 487 00:32:02,485 --> 00:32:04,966 Hey... 488 00:32:05,097 --> 00:32:07,316 With your permission, I make the cut in. 489 00:32:09,188 --> 00:32:11,842 Signorinadances with great abandon. 490 00:32:11,973 --> 00:32:15,716 It's signora. And grazie. 491 00:32:15,846 --> 00:32:18,066 Signora, we shall make love. 492 00:32:18,197 --> 00:32:20,895 Oh, smashing! Here and now? 493 00:32:21,026 --> 00:32:22,462 No, no, no. 494 00:32:22,592 --> 00:32:24,551 Ahone via Mabrizi, Apartment B. 495 00:32:29,860 --> 00:32:33,516 Back where I come from, we don't hold with ditchin' a woman. 496 00:32:33,647 --> 00:32:38,043 You're lookin' to get a nice big cross burnt on your lawn. 497 00:32:38,173 --> 00:32:40,436 Cute but emotionally disturbed. 498 00:32:41,220 --> 00:32:43,744 She's from Alabama. 499 00:32:43,874 --> 00:32:47,008 I'm from the Via Veneto and I'm disturbed as hell. 500 00:32:47,139 --> 00:32:50,098 Scusi, signore. I will leave. 501 00:32:50,229 --> 00:32:51,534 You won't forget? 502 00:32:51,665 --> 00:32:53,928 How could I? 503 00:32:54,059 --> 00:32:56,975 I'll look for the first lawn with the burning cross. 504 00:32:57,105 --> 00:32:59,107 Won't forget what? 505 00:32:59,238 --> 00:33:01,631 His address. He wants to make love. 506 00:33:01,762 --> 00:33:03,459 Oh, he does, does he? 507 00:33:16,907 --> 00:33:18,605 Doctor. 508 00:33:23,479 --> 00:33:26,047 Doctor, that's a laugh. 509 00:33:27,788 --> 00:33:30,878 Doctor. 510 00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:34,447 There are two schools of thought on the science of scalp therapy. 511 00:33:34,577 --> 00:33:36,971 The day school and the night school. 512 00:33:52,552 --> 00:33:55,381 Wunderbar! 513 00:33:55,511 --> 00:33:59,167 And you, my dear, are going to be the first one in. 514 00:33:59,298 --> 00:34:02,083 Champagne tickles my nose. 515 00:34:02,214 --> 00:34:04,477 Imagine what it is going to do to the rest of you, eh? 516 00:34:13,703 --> 00:34:15,662 I want to thank you, Doctor. 517 00:34:15,792 --> 00:34:16,967 About what? 518 00:34:17,098 --> 00:34:18,926 The bubbles tickling everything. 519 00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:20,580 Oh, yes. 520 00:34:27,108 --> 00:34:28,892 No! 521 00:34:30,546 --> 00:34:32,461 No! 522 00:34:32,592 --> 00:34:34,072 No! Don't! 523 00:34:34,202 --> 00:34:36,074 I, I, I'm a sick man. 524 00:34:36,204 --> 00:34:37,945 Er, er, medical doctors will tell you I'm a sick man. 525 00:34:38,076 --> 00:34:40,382 Not, not bad just sick. 526 00:34:41,557 --> 00:34:43,864 You missed me. 527 00:34:45,561 --> 00:34:48,347 You, cretin! You could give me an infection. 528 00:34:54,222 --> 00:34:55,832 You are the woman with whom I am in love. 529 00:34:55,963 --> 00:34:58,052 Yes. 530 00:34:58,183 --> 00:35:02,491 But what would I be worth if I were just an ordinary call girl 531 00:35:02,622 --> 00:35:04,537 from the Piazza di Spagna? 532 00:35:04,667 --> 00:35:05,929 Priceless. 533 00:35:06,060 --> 00:35:08,845 There's just no way to judge a value like yours. 534 00:35:08,976 --> 00:35:11,631 Priceless? Really? Really. 535 00:35:11,761 --> 00:35:13,241 Oh.Astronomical. 536 00:35:13,372 --> 00:35:14,721 The Mona Lisa perhaps. 537 00:35:14,851 --> 00:35:16,244 Oh? 538 00:35:17,419 --> 00:35:19,247 Then I'm not priceless. 539 00:35:19,378 --> 00:35:20,944 The Mona Lisa has a price. 540 00:35:21,075 --> 00:35:22,859 Actually, you've insulted me. 541 00:35:22,990 --> 00:35:25,993 You've made me feel like that call girl from the Piazza di Spagna. 542 00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:27,734 Fine. And I'm your best customer 543 00:35:27,864 --> 00:35:30,606 who has just given you the Mona Lisa. 544 00:35:30,737 --> 00:35:34,262 I don't want to be known as the girl who went to bed with a man who was 545 00:35:34,393 --> 00:35:37,309 stupid enough to give away the Mona Lisa. 546 00:35:37,439 --> 00:35:39,267 My mother was right, 547 00:35:40,573 --> 00:35:42,401 I should have been a priest. 548 00:37:27,375 --> 00:37:29,159 Is he asleep? 549 00:37:29,290 --> 00:37:31,249 He fell asleep immediately after. 550 00:37:31,379 --> 00:37:32,772 After what? 551 00:37:32,902 --> 00:37:34,469 He closed his eyes. 552 00:37:36,036 --> 00:37:38,125 Merci, Flavia. 553 00:37:38,256 --> 00:37:39,344 I appreciate your loyalty. 554 00:37:42,477 --> 00:37:45,741 Does Monsieur talk in his sleep sometimes? 555 00:37:46,394 --> 00:37:48,091 Sometimes? 556 00:37:48,222 --> 00:37:50,137 All the time. 557 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:51,921 That's how I get my information. 558 00:37:58,493 --> 00:38:01,279 1:00 in Rome means siesta. 559 00:38:01,409 --> 00:38:03,411 Everybody goes to bed. 560 00:38:03,542 --> 00:38:05,283 The square ones even sleep. 561 00:38:14,161 --> 00:38:17,469 Now, where were you all week, Federico? 562 00:38:20,559 --> 00:38:21,603 Home. 563 00:38:23,083 --> 00:38:25,912 Married men always have a perfect alibi. 564 00:38:26,042 --> 00:38:27,740 They were home. 565 00:38:27,870 --> 00:38:30,177 What can you do there you can't do here? 566 00:38:30,308 --> 00:38:33,093 Mia cara. Call it habit, 567 00:38:33,223 --> 00:38:34,660 superstition or what you will, 568 00:38:34,790 --> 00:38:37,532 but I can only work in my own chair, at my own desk, 569 00:38:39,229 --> 00:38:40,666 in my own study. 570 00:38:42,145 --> 00:38:46,411 Your own desk? Your own chair? Your own study? 571 00:38:53,026 --> 00:38:55,811 All duplicated by your own decorator. 572 00:39:14,569 --> 00:39:16,484 Aren't you pleased? 573 00:39:16,615 --> 00:39:19,095 Pleased? Where's the fun if I think I'm home? 574 00:39:19,226 --> 00:39:21,228 Where are you going? Home. 575 00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:24,231 You are going back to that woman? It's perverted! 576 00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:26,973 That woman happens to be the mother of my children. 577 00:39:27,103 --> 00:39:28,540 You have no children! 578 00:39:31,978 --> 00:39:36,678 If you go away now, I'm going to kill myself. I will. 579 00:39:36,809 --> 00:39:38,941 Ornella, you are a spoiled juvenile. 580 00:39:39,072 --> 00:39:42,162 Whenever we argue you take sleeping pills in massive doses. 581 00:39:42,292 --> 00:39:44,643 If all the pills you've taken were outside of you 582 00:39:44,773 --> 00:39:47,167 instead of inside of you, you would look like a beaded dress. 583 00:39:56,916 --> 00:40:00,441 Oh, Doctor. I am so ashamed. 584 00:40:00,572 --> 00:40:02,704 Excuse me, but I am the doctor. 585 00:40:02,835 --> 00:40:05,403 I don't remember calling for a consultation. 586 00:40:06,491 --> 00:40:08,231 Believe me, my dear, 587 00:40:08,362 --> 00:40:12,453 you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. 588 00:40:19,417 --> 00:40:22,724 Doctor. Doctor! Doctor, please. 589 00:40:22,855 --> 00:40:23,856 Please! 590 00:40:26,249 --> 00:40:27,163 Please! 591 00:40:28,338 --> 00:40:30,079 Please! 592 00:40:30,210 --> 00:40:32,299 I didn't call you for her. It was for me. 593 00:40:32,430 --> 00:40:34,257 I was afraid the shock would be terrible for my hair. 594 00:40:34,388 --> 00:40:36,172 Good thinking. 595 00:40:36,303 --> 00:40:38,348 And incidentally, 596 00:40:38,479 --> 00:40:42,265 don't let her hang herself. It would be terrible for her hair. 597 00:40:42,396 --> 00:40:44,790 4:00 means back to work for the, uh, 598 00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:46,531 squares who slept at 1:00. 599 00:41:09,815 --> 00:41:11,947 If we ever get out of this alive, 600 00:41:13,775 --> 00:41:16,212 I'm coming back for you. 601 00:41:16,343 --> 00:41:20,608 Oh, when Mr. Right comes looking for me, I hope he looks like that. 602 00:42:25,368 --> 00:42:28,284 Mio tersoro. For the first time in my life, 603 00:42:28,415 --> 00:42:29,938 I am in love. 604 00:42:30,069 --> 00:42:32,027 There's no need to say that, Max. 605 00:42:33,725 --> 00:42:38,556 Max? Max, or Franco. Whatever. 606 00:42:38,686 --> 00:42:40,862 The names are interchangeable. 607 00:42:40,993 --> 00:42:43,822 Like the words "for the first time I'm in love." 608 00:42:43,952 --> 00:42:45,867 It's not necessary to say that. 609 00:42:45,998 --> 00:42:48,261 But what else can I say? 610 00:42:48,391 --> 00:42:49,610 You might say I'm pretty. 611 00:42:49,741 --> 00:42:52,265 Oh, yes, you are. Fantastic. 612 00:42:52,395 --> 00:42:53,832 Good. 613 00:42:53,962 --> 00:42:57,357 Umm... You might say you're glad I'm here. 614 00:42:57,487 --> 00:42:59,794 Glad? I'm the hap... 615 00:42:59,925 --> 00:43:02,492 That will do fine. Thank you. 616 00:43:02,623 --> 00:43:04,843 And, now, if you want to seduce me, 617 00:43:05,713 --> 00:43:07,367 go right ahead. 618 00:44:13,346 --> 00:44:15,304 What's the matter? 619 00:44:15,435 --> 00:44:18,481 It's just that I don't want to be Max or... 620 00:44:18,612 --> 00:44:20,135 Whatever.Yes. 621 00:44:20,266 --> 00:44:21,746 I am Franco. Myself. 622 00:44:22,790 --> 00:44:24,357 I'll try harder. 623 00:44:43,289 --> 00:44:45,900 You certainly know how to spoil a Roman afternoon. 624 00:44:47,206 --> 00:44:49,164 Forgive me, Franco. Huh, Max. 625 00:45:06,442 --> 00:45:07,705 "Next time 626 00:45:08,357 --> 00:45:10,446 "a burning cross." 627 00:45:10,577 --> 00:45:12,231 Something you did? 628 00:45:12,361 --> 00:45:13,885 Something I didn't. 629 00:45:18,977 --> 00:45:20,282 Where's Mrs. Dobbs? 630 00:45:20,413 --> 00:45:21,501 Out. 631 00:45:23,459 --> 00:45:25,244 Mr. Dobbs... Now remember I haven't... 632 00:45:25,374 --> 00:45:26,114 Left the house. 633 00:45:26,245 --> 00:45:28,290 Exactly. 634 00:45:28,421 --> 00:45:30,075 My niece is here. This afternoon I'm not interviewing nieces. 635 00:45:30,205 --> 00:45:32,730 This afternoon, I am working on plays. 636 00:45:36,995 --> 00:45:37,735 Oh. 637 00:46:01,584 --> 00:46:06,154 Now hear this. You are working for me. Not vice versa. 638 00:46:06,285 --> 00:46:09,679 One more such outburst and I trade you in for a quill pen. 639 00:46:09,810 --> 00:46:11,072 All right? 640 00:46:11,594 --> 00:46:12,552 Right. 641 00:46:36,750 --> 00:46:38,056 Ridiculous! 642 00:46:58,728 --> 00:47:01,253 Mr. Dobbs, this is my niece, Angelica. You're hired. 643 00:47:01,383 --> 00:47:02,428 I'm an author. FLAVIA: I told her. 644 00:47:02,558 --> 00:47:03,864 I work irregular hours. I told her. 645 00:47:03,995 --> 00:47:06,345 Nights, weekends. I told her. 646 00:47:06,475 --> 00:47:08,086 As to salary, I think... Five hundred, I told her. 647 00:47:08,216 --> 00:47:09,827 Fine, you're obviously eminently qualified. 648 00:47:12,090 --> 00:47:13,482 We are very grateful. 649 00:47:18,183 --> 00:47:20,446 You, uh... You do type a bit, don't you? 650 00:47:20,576 --> 00:47:22,100 Ninety words a minute. 651 00:47:22,230 --> 00:47:24,406 Shorthand? One hundred and eighty. 652 00:47:24,537 --> 00:47:25,799 And... 653 00:47:25,930 --> 00:47:28,541 Thirty-eight, 22, 35. 654 00:47:28,671 --> 00:47:33,328 That is disgraceful. 38 words a minute? That's inadequate. 655 00:47:33,459 --> 00:47:35,504 Hello, darling. Have you met Flavia's niece, Angelica? 656 00:47:35,635 --> 00:47:37,811 Buon giorno, Angelica. Pacere, Signora. 657 00:47:37,942 --> 00:47:40,596 Signore. You're thinking Fahrenheit. 658 00:47:40,727 --> 00:47:43,556 I mean 38 words centigrade. 659 00:47:44,992 --> 00:47:46,341 Ooh, of course, yes. 660 00:47:46,472 --> 00:47:48,691 Well, that would make a difference, wouldn't it? 661 00:47:48,822 --> 00:47:51,433 No, it's out of the question. You're far too young. 662 00:47:51,564 --> 00:47:54,523 When I need you most, you'll be stoning the US Embassy. 663 00:47:54,654 --> 00:47:56,961 How's Gwendolyn, darling? Who? 664 00:47:57,091 --> 00:47:59,224 Your sister. You said you were going to the hospital to see her. 665 00:47:59,354 --> 00:48:00,703 Oh, yes. 666 00:48:00,834 --> 00:48:03,097 Her flu is much better. Flu? 667 00:48:03,228 --> 00:48:04,359 On top of her scraped back? 668 00:48:04,490 --> 00:48:08,233 No, no. In her chest. In her chest. 669 00:48:08,363 --> 00:48:10,017 Arrive derci, Angelica. 670 00:48:10,148 --> 00:48:12,672 Arrive derci, Signora. 671 00:48:12,802 --> 00:48:17,546 I'm sorry, Flavia. I thought you were eavesdropping at the other door. 672 00:48:17,677 --> 00:48:20,288 That's the way the photographer stared at me. 673 00:48:21,507 --> 00:48:22,943 The photographer? 674 00:48:24,640 --> 00:48:26,599 'Course. I saw you at my barber's. 675 00:48:26,729 --> 00:48:28,818 Your barber? Mmm. 676 00:48:28,949 --> 00:48:32,300 New issue of Playboy. You were the centerfold. Very lovely. 677 00:48:34,824 --> 00:48:37,305 Grazia a re. My barber thanks you, too. 678 00:48:39,525 --> 00:48:42,223 Tell me, didn't your mother mind you posing in the nude? 679 00:48:42,354 --> 00:48:46,749 Oh, very much. I beat her out of the job. 680 00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,404 That's all for now. I'll let you know in a few days. 681 00:48:49,535 --> 00:48:51,711 And... that's it? 682 00:48:53,495 --> 00:48:54,583 There's more? 683 00:48:58,109 --> 00:49:01,460 Well, under the circumstances. 684 00:49:02,069 --> 00:49:03,679 Count to three. 685 00:49:03,810 --> 00:49:05,029 Yes. 686 00:49:07,292 --> 00:49:08,510 Three. 687 00:49:38,714 --> 00:49:40,238 What? 688 00:49:42,196 --> 00:49:45,156 Admittedly, darling, it does look a bit... 689 00:49:47,201 --> 00:49:48,289 It does look a bit odd, but... 690 00:49:48,420 --> 00:49:50,335 Odd? Why? 691 00:49:50,465 --> 00:49:53,686 Merely a playwright and his secretary hard at work. 692 00:49:53,816 --> 00:49:55,427 Careful, I'm going to jump. 693 00:50:01,911 --> 00:50:04,349 I see you got the job. 694 00:50:08,092 --> 00:50:10,268 Er, nothing's been decided. 695 00:50:10,398 --> 00:50:13,053 No, just leave your address and telephone number, would you? 696 00:50:13,184 --> 00:50:16,578 Hotel Albergo. 6-8-9-2-5-1. 697 00:50:16,709 --> 00:50:17,666 Shall I write it down? 698 00:50:17,797 --> 00:50:19,842 Oh, not necessary. 699 00:50:19,973 --> 00:50:20,800 He'll remember. 700 00:50:27,676 --> 00:50:29,678 Graziafor considering me. 701 00:50:29,809 --> 00:50:31,376 Arrivederci, signor. 702 00:50:32,899 --> 00:50:33,813 Signora. 703 00:50:37,730 --> 00:50:39,427 Are you hiring her? 704 00:50:40,341 --> 00:50:42,865 Oh, absolutely not. 705 00:50:42,996 --> 00:50:45,999 I was looking for a plain, colorless secretary. 706 00:50:46,130 --> 00:50:48,436 Someone who blends into the furniture, 707 00:50:48,567 --> 00:50:51,396 instead of climbing all over it. 708 00:50:51,526 --> 00:50:53,137 Oh, for God's Sake, she looks like Brigitte Bardot. 709 00:50:55,530 --> 00:50:56,923 Bardot, eh? 710 00:50:57,054 --> 00:50:58,707 I'd love to get into her hair. 711 00:50:58,838 --> 00:51:00,231 Doctor. 712 00:51:00,361 --> 00:51:03,538 How many times have I told you not to disturb me when... 713 00:51:08,152 --> 00:51:09,892 Doctor? 714 00:51:10,023 --> 00:51:11,503 Doctor.Er... 715 00:51:12,895 --> 00:51:14,593 Doctor! Doctor! 716 00:51:16,551 --> 00:51:18,249 I just got here. 717 00:51:18,379 --> 00:51:20,555 Well, how time flies when one is having fun, eh? 718 00:51:22,731 --> 00:51:23,689 How long was I in there? 719 00:51:23,819 --> 00:51:26,257 Please, don't involve me. I am Swiss. 720 00:51:27,823 --> 00:51:29,956 Not even ten minutes. 721 00:51:31,958 --> 00:51:33,307 Doctor! 722 00:51:33,438 --> 00:51:34,656 Don't you ever knock? 723 00:51:35,570 --> 00:51:36,528 I'm sorry. 724 00:51:36,658 --> 00:51:38,443 Bardot, eh? 725 00:51:38,573 --> 00:51:41,402 Are you spending the weekend with Brigitte Bardot? 726 00:51:41,533 --> 00:51:43,535 Her name is Angelica. 727 00:51:43,665 --> 00:51:45,885 Mmm. Give me all the torrid details, you fiend. 728 00:51:46,015 --> 00:51:47,539 Don't be so diffident. 729 00:51:47,669 --> 00:51:49,193 I just met her and she's perfect. 730 00:51:49,323 --> 00:51:50,498 Perfect? Perfect for what? 731 00:51:50,629 --> 00:51:52,544 My secretary. 732 00:51:52,674 --> 00:51:54,241 Even though she's a teenager... 733 00:51:54,372 --> 00:51:58,158 Teen? Teen? How teen? 13? 14? 15? 734 00:51:58,289 --> 00:51:59,986 Stop me when I get to your card. 735 00:52:00,117 --> 00:52:03,598 Eighteen. But she types 90 words a minute and her shorthand is... 736 00:52:03,729 --> 00:52:05,078 As if you cared. 737 00:52:05,209 --> 00:52:07,211 A hundred and eighty. 738 00:52:07,341 --> 00:52:09,082 What you really want, you hypocrite, is... 739 00:52:09,213 --> 00:52:12,520 Thirty-eight, twenty-two, thirty-five. 740 00:52:12,651 --> 00:52:15,436 God bless her. Bardot, eh? 741 00:52:15,567 --> 00:52:16,916 Bardot, huh? 742 00:52:17,046 --> 00:52:20,963 This girl happens to be called Angelica. 743 00:52:22,661 --> 00:52:24,358 If you could stimulate my memory. 744 00:52:25,925 --> 00:52:29,146 Do you take Diners' card? Con placere. 745 00:52:29,276 --> 00:52:32,366 Ah, it comes to me. You must mean Angelica St. Pierre. 746 00:52:32,497 --> 00:52:34,455 SignorDobbs! 747 00:52:35,804 --> 00:52:39,417 Ah-ha, you were right. Bardot. 748 00:52:39,547 --> 00:52:41,114 I wasn't expecting you. 749 00:52:41,245 --> 00:52:43,290 So I gather. I, er, 750 00:52:43,421 --> 00:52:47,164 just came by to tell you, you are hired. 751 00:52:47,294 --> 00:52:49,601 You mean, I'm your secretary? 752 00:52:49,731 --> 00:52:52,169 As of right now. We're going to Castelli. 753 00:52:52,299 --> 00:52:54,780 Ah-ha-ha. Hi. Castelli. 754 00:52:54,910 --> 00:52:56,521 Work on the play. 755 00:52:56,651 --> 00:52:59,350 That's exactly what I had planned but with Dr. Ponti. 756 00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:01,874 Look, who is this Dr. Ponti? My ex-boyfriend. 757 00:53:02,004 --> 00:53:03,832 Well, how ex? I mean, last year, last month, last week? 758 00:53:03,963 --> 00:53:07,445 Last night. We broke up over you. He's quite jealous. 759 00:53:07,575 --> 00:53:08,489 Ha-ha! 760 00:53:09,925 --> 00:53:11,710 Jealous? 761 00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:14,408 Well, I, er, I mean he hardly knows me and, 762 00:53:14,539 --> 00:53:18,020 er, neither do you in the, er, biblical sense. 763 00:53:18,151 --> 00:53:21,459 No. And I told him you were a perfect gentleman. 764 00:53:21,589 --> 00:53:23,069 Thank you. ANGELICA: And charming. 765 00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:24,636 Considerate. Handsome. 766 00:53:24,766 --> 00:53:26,986 Also quite dashing. Dashing? Me? 767 00:53:27,116 --> 00:53:28,205 Definitely dashing. 768 00:53:28,335 --> 00:53:30,511 Oh, it's absurd. 769 00:53:30,642 --> 00:53:34,602 I mean, I do have a certain flair, but, 770 00:53:34,733 --> 00:53:36,038 dashing? I wouldn't say that. Really. I... 771 00:53:36,169 --> 00:53:38,345 Neither would I. 772 00:53:38,476 --> 00:53:42,915 I'm not supposed to be dashing to you. 773 00:53:43,045 --> 00:53:45,526 You said you were going to Castelli with Dr. Ponti, yes? 774 00:53:45,657 --> 00:53:47,485 Yes. They're making a movie near there. 775 00:53:47,615 --> 00:53:49,226 The director's my ex-boyfriend. 776 00:53:49,356 --> 00:53:51,489 You ex around pretty good, don't you? 777 00:53:51,619 --> 00:53:52,881 He wasn't jealous, this director? 778 00:53:53,012 --> 00:53:56,711 Oh, no. This time I was. My mother got him. 779 00:53:56,842 --> 00:54:00,062 Can't I start being your secretary on Monday? 780 00:54:00,193 --> 00:54:03,457 No. Negative, Angelica. I'm sorry. We just... 781 00:54:03,588 --> 00:54:05,546 We just couldn't work it out. 782 00:54:05,981 --> 00:54:07,548 Ciao! 783 00:54:08,593 --> 00:54:10,508 Momento. Si? 784 00:54:12,597 --> 00:54:15,469 Dr. Ponti is due at 4:00. 785 00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:17,689 I have three minutes to. 786 00:54:17,819 --> 00:54:19,691 If he doesn't show up at 4:00 sharp... 787 00:54:19,821 --> 00:54:21,780 Now you're being reasonable. 788 00:54:23,782 --> 00:54:26,611 That's Dr. Ponti. The one with the helmet. 789 00:54:32,747 --> 00:54:34,358 What does this doctor specialize in, anyway? 790 00:54:34,488 --> 00:54:36,098 The entire area below the ankles. 791 00:54:36,229 --> 00:54:38,449 Hah, foot doctor. 792 00:54:38,579 --> 00:54:40,842 Foot doctor? Chiropodist. It's very important. 793 00:54:40,973 --> 00:54:42,191 Without feet you'd fall forward. 794 00:54:42,322 --> 00:54:43,671 Oh, I can see that. 795 00:54:57,859 --> 00:54:59,905 Tell Dr. Ponti I had to go out of town. 796 00:55:00,035 --> 00:55:01,820 I'll get in touch with him later. 797 00:55:01,950 --> 00:55:04,213 Out of town. Touch him later. 798 00:55:06,128 --> 00:55:08,392 Ah, he's sweet. 799 00:55:12,700 --> 00:55:15,050 4:00. Dr. Ponti's not here. 800 00:55:15,181 --> 00:55:16,661 Slip out the back. Meet you down the block. 801 00:55:36,289 --> 00:55:38,247 I've come to pick up SignorinaSt. Pierre. 802 00:55:38,378 --> 00:55:40,685 Doctor, speaking in your terms, 803 00:55:42,121 --> 00:55:43,688 you missed her by a foot. 804 00:55:44,776 --> 00:55:47,561 Ho, ho, ho. Very droll. 805 00:55:50,172 --> 00:55:52,610 Will there be anything else? 806 00:55:52,740 --> 00:55:54,960 You should have tried me 20 years ago. 807 00:55:55,090 --> 00:55:56,091 Thirty. 808 00:56:00,705 --> 00:56:02,359 Flavia, who was that? 809 00:56:02,489 --> 00:56:04,361 It's a cable, Madame. 810 00:56:05,623 --> 00:56:07,929 From America. 811 00:56:08,060 --> 00:56:10,236 The name doesn't seem familiar. 812 00:56:10,367 --> 00:56:12,151 "Charles Harrison." 813 00:56:19,114 --> 00:56:21,378 Er, hi. 814 00:56:21,508 --> 00:56:22,944 I'm Charles Harrison. 815 00:56:24,511 --> 00:56:26,557 Oh, no, you are not. 816 00:56:26,687 --> 00:56:28,820 You are the movie star. 817 00:56:28,950 --> 00:56:30,822 Grant Granite. 818 00:56:30,952 --> 00:56:33,520 Thank you, my dear. Mr. Dobbs at home? 819 00:56:35,479 --> 00:56:36,958 Mrs. Dobbs? 820 00:56:38,220 --> 00:56:41,310 I got it, Flavia! 821 00:56:41,441 --> 00:56:45,750 Oh, Fernando, you know I'm very fond of you, but really I... 822 00:56:53,061 --> 00:56:54,062 I won. 823 00:56:55,542 --> 00:56:58,719 I've won a contest. In my own bathroom. 824 00:56:58,850 --> 00:57:00,417 Grant Granite. 825 00:57:02,201 --> 00:57:04,682 Thank you, my dear. 826 00:57:04,812 --> 00:57:06,945 And you hopefully are, er, Mrs. Dobbs? 827 00:57:09,382 --> 00:57:10,905 Delighted. 828 00:57:12,820 --> 00:57:16,650 But unfortunately, my business is with Mr. Dobbs. 829 00:57:18,957 --> 00:57:20,872 He, he's away for the weekend. 830 00:57:21,002 --> 00:57:21,829 Damn! 831 00:57:24,745 --> 00:57:27,748 I sent him a telegram from California three days ago but... 832 00:57:27,879 --> 00:57:30,621 Well, la belle Italia, we just arrived together. 833 00:57:30,751 --> 00:57:32,449 You're... Charles Harrison, yes. 834 00:57:32,579 --> 00:57:33,885 But you're Grant Granite. 835 00:57:34,015 --> 00:57:36,278 Oh, Grant Granite's my screen name. 836 00:57:36,409 --> 00:57:38,542 I thought everybody knew. 837 00:57:38,672 --> 00:57:42,154 You see, as Charlie Harrison, I'm Grant Granite's director and producer. 838 00:57:43,677 --> 00:57:46,114 The two names. Oh, it seems 839 00:57:46,245 --> 00:57:48,334 a little more modest that way, don't you think? 840 00:57:48,465 --> 00:57:50,118 No. 841 00:57:50,249 --> 00:57:52,338 I feel it makes for a certain mystery, don't you? 842 00:57:52,469 --> 00:57:54,775 No. 843 00:57:54,906 --> 00:57:57,604 And what do you want to see my husband about? 844 00:57:57,735 --> 00:58:02,783 To hand him a check for $150,000. 845 00:58:02,914 --> 00:58:05,046 One hundred and fifty thousand dollars? 846 00:58:05,612 --> 00:58:06,787 For what? 847 00:58:07,440 --> 00:58:09,921 Would you, er, 848 00:58:10,051 --> 00:58:11,749 would you mind repeating the question? 849 00:58:15,317 --> 00:58:18,451 A hundred and fifty thousand for what? 850 00:58:18,582 --> 00:58:19,974 His new play. 851 00:58:20,105 --> 00:58:21,889 "When in Rome do as the Romanians." 852 00:58:22,020 --> 00:58:24,022 But it isn't even finished. 853 00:58:24,152 --> 00:58:26,241 Listen, in this business, you have to move fast. 854 00:58:26,372 --> 00:58:29,375 Otherwise you end up in a tweed jacket smoking a pipe. 855 00:58:29,506 --> 00:58:31,508 While Paul Newman gets the girl. 856 00:58:31,638 --> 00:58:33,553 You'll have to wait till Monday. 857 00:58:33,684 --> 00:58:36,164 Impossible. I've got to be back in California by then. 858 00:58:37,601 --> 00:58:39,341 Phone him. Oh, I can't. 859 00:58:39,472 --> 00:58:41,822 It would involve breaking an unwritten rule. 860 00:58:46,261 --> 00:58:47,524 Break it. 861 00:58:48,612 --> 00:58:49,700 Please. 862 00:58:57,621 --> 00:58:59,797 Darling? No. This is, er, 863 00:59:02,016 --> 00:59:03,670 Darling's wife. 864 00:59:03,801 --> 00:59:05,367 Who? MILLIE: Mildred Dobbs. 865 00:59:05,498 --> 00:59:07,544 Would you please call my husband to the phone? 866 00:59:07,674 --> 00:59:10,068 Your husband, signora? 867 00:59:10,198 --> 00:59:12,418 Why should he be here? 868 00:59:12,549 --> 00:59:14,594 I cannot account for his taste, 869 00:59:14,725 --> 00:59:18,598 but everyone in Rome knows that when he's not here he's there. 870 00:59:18,729 --> 00:59:20,557 Everyone in Europe is so continental. 871 00:59:20,687 --> 00:59:22,863 That could also work in reverse. 872 00:59:22,994 --> 00:59:25,387 It so happens, signora, your husband is not here. 873 00:59:25,518 --> 00:59:27,607 Then consider this, 874 00:59:27,738 --> 00:59:30,697 if he's not here and he's not there, 875 00:59:30,828 --> 00:59:32,612 where in the hell is he? 876 00:59:34,832 --> 00:59:38,444 Yes, just where in the hell is he? 877 00:59:38,575 --> 00:59:41,316 It's a beautiful day. 878 00:59:41,447 --> 00:59:43,057 Mind if I put the top down? 879 00:59:44,537 --> 00:59:46,583 I mean, my top. 880 01:00:07,038 --> 01:00:09,257 A hundred and fifty thousand dollars? 881 01:00:09,388 --> 01:00:11,085 Or ninety million lira. 882 01:00:11,216 --> 01:00:12,826 Cielo. 883 01:00:12,957 --> 01:00:15,133 I thought that might touch a nerve. 884 01:00:16,177 --> 01:00:17,570 Grant Granite. 885 01:00:17,701 --> 01:00:19,659 Thank you, my dear. 886 01:00:19,790 --> 01:00:23,402 When we find Fred and get our hands on that $150,000, 887 01:00:23,532 --> 01:00:27,232 am I going to be excited about meeting you. 888 01:00:27,362 --> 01:00:28,320 Come. 889 01:00:30,670 --> 01:00:34,239 For $150,000, where are you? 890 01:00:34,369 --> 01:00:35,849 Think. Think. 891 01:00:35,980 --> 01:00:37,938 I'm thinking. I'm thinking. 892 01:00:41,768 --> 01:00:43,378 He left her last week. 893 01:00:45,380 --> 01:00:46,643 Perhaps... 894 01:00:48,209 --> 01:00:51,256 She went back to Israel. Couldn't stand Italian food. 895 01:00:53,693 --> 01:00:58,916 I'll give it a try, but he couldn't be that obvious, could he? 896 01:00:59,046 --> 01:01:03,572 And you just answered my question. 897 01:01:03,703 --> 01:01:07,315 Hotel Albergo? SignorinaSt. Pierre, per favore. 898 01:01:08,795 --> 01:01:10,188 Already gone? 899 01:01:12,233 --> 01:01:14,671 SignorDobbs told me to phone him there. 900 01:01:18,675 --> 01:01:23,418 Castelli? I see. Grazie. 901 01:01:23,549 --> 01:01:26,857 What kind of a girl? Athletic. 902 01:01:26,987 --> 01:01:30,121 If I were his mistress, this never could have happened. 903 01:01:30,251 --> 01:01:33,124 If I were his wife, he wouldn't require a mistress. 904 01:01:37,389 --> 01:01:40,044 Just a meaningless little thing Frederico picked up for me. 905 01:01:40,174 --> 01:01:43,830 Meaningless is just the word. It's my old one. 906 01:01:48,226 --> 01:01:50,619 Grant Granite, am I excited. 907 01:01:50,750 --> 01:01:51,708 Thank you, my dear. 908 01:01:51,838 --> 01:01:54,145 About that $150,000. 909 01:01:54,275 --> 01:01:55,189 Oh. 910 01:02:11,379 --> 01:02:14,643 Do you believe in love at first sight? 911 01:02:14,774 --> 01:02:16,167 Oh, invariably, Pussycat. 912 01:02:16,297 --> 01:02:18,299 I am so glad. 913 01:02:18,430 --> 01:02:20,824 It means you have a deep social conscience. 914 01:02:20,954 --> 01:02:22,260 Oh, it does? 915 01:02:22,390 --> 01:02:25,350 It's a person's duty to promote love in this world. 916 01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:28,527 What with the Red Chinese and all this trouble, don't you agree? 917 01:02:30,355 --> 01:02:31,878 Oh, definitely. 918 01:02:40,017 --> 01:02:42,759 Madame is not here! 919 01:02:42,889 --> 01:02:45,196 Ooh, ooh, that Fred C. Dobbs. 920 01:02:45,326 --> 01:02:48,765 If only I could get my hands on his feet. 921 01:02:48,895 --> 01:02:51,463 Signoris not here. 922 01:02:51,593 --> 01:02:54,771 And if you don't both leave, I will telephone Signorin Castelli. 923 01:02:54,901 --> 01:02:58,035 Castelli? 924 01:02:58,165 --> 01:03:00,428 Incidentally, with all this vibration, 925 01:03:00,559 --> 01:03:03,736 it's only sensible to have a pelvic examination. 926 01:03:03,867 --> 01:03:06,739 I saw it. I saw it with my own eyes. 927 01:03:06,870 --> 01:03:08,741 Butter, eh? Butter. 928 01:03:08,872 --> 01:03:10,743 Beautiful. 929 01:03:10,874 --> 01:03:13,485 These jet-setters, they see one Fellini flick and they go fruitcake. 930 01:03:13,615 --> 01:03:15,966 Butter, eh? Butter. 931 01:03:16,096 --> 01:03:18,838 That Fred C. Dobbs must be a lot sicker than I thought. 932 01:03:18,969 --> 01:03:21,623 I hope I'm not being disloyal to him. 933 01:03:21,754 --> 01:03:24,235 Disloyal? Try traitor. 934 01:03:24,365 --> 01:03:25,802 You're my beautiful little spy. 935 01:03:25,932 --> 01:03:27,499 What about your wife? 936 01:03:27,629 --> 01:03:29,283 To hell with her. Let her get her own spies. 937 01:03:29,414 --> 01:03:32,286 Oh, by the way, put these hairs back on his pillow. 938 01:03:36,203 --> 01:03:39,293 They are getting awfully worn out. 939 01:03:39,424 --> 01:03:40,860 You promised you would get rid of your wife. 940 01:03:40,991 --> 01:03:43,297 Oh, I will. I will. 941 01:03:43,428 --> 01:03:46,126 This time I have a fool-proof plan. 942 01:03:46,257 --> 01:03:47,780 I hope it's better than the last time. 943 01:03:47,911 --> 01:03:49,738 That tiger must have cost you plenty. 944 01:03:49,869 --> 01:03:52,785 I still don't know what went wrong. 945 01:03:52,916 --> 01:03:56,528 I threw her in the cage, and locked her in and then she killed the tiger. 946 01:03:56,658 --> 01:03:59,444 Poor darling. You do try. 947 01:03:59,574 --> 01:04:00,575 Mmm-hmm. 948 01:04:08,757 --> 01:04:10,542 Pronto. 949 01:04:10,672 --> 01:04:13,458 Ah, SignorFernando. 950 01:04:13,588 --> 01:04:15,112 Cut it short, the music has started. 951 01:04:15,242 --> 01:04:17,375 No, she has gone for the weekend. 952 01:04:26,645 --> 01:04:28,038 Damn it! 953 01:04:29,996 --> 01:04:32,564 Pronto. Who is calling, Madame? 954 01:04:34,348 --> 01:04:38,091 Oh, pronto. I didn't recognize your voice. 955 01:04:38,222 --> 01:04:40,485 More dolce Vita, eh? 956 01:04:40,615 --> 01:04:43,575 Oh, no, she won't be back before Monday. 957 01:04:43,705 --> 01:04:45,794 Castelli. 958 01:04:45,925 --> 01:04:47,405 What are you doing for the weekend? 959 01:04:49,755 --> 01:04:50,930 Mmm. 960 01:04:55,326 --> 01:04:58,155 Sapristi! I'll put a stop to this myself. 961 01:05:06,685 --> 01:05:08,339 Go away! 962 01:05:08,469 --> 01:05:09,601 We don't want any. 963 01:05:20,307 --> 01:05:23,702 Butter. Bring me lots and lots of butter. 964 01:05:42,939 --> 01:05:44,418 Is Mr. Dobbs registered here? 965 01:05:44,549 --> 01:05:47,378 We haven't seen SignorDobbs since last summer. 966 01:05:47,508 --> 01:05:49,162 Last summer? Who? 967 01:05:49,293 --> 01:05:50,120 Me. 968 01:05:51,382 --> 01:05:52,426 'Scusa. 969 01:05:53,906 --> 01:05:55,386 Well, we tried. 970 01:05:55,516 --> 01:05:56,604 However... 971 01:06:00,217 --> 01:06:03,872 SignorDobbs telephoned and made a reservation for two for tonight. 972 01:06:04,003 --> 01:06:06,832 Good. When he arrives, tell him some friends are waiting in the bar. 973 01:06:06,963 --> 01:06:09,095 I'll try to remember. 974 01:06:10,531 --> 01:06:12,838 I'll remember! 975 01:06:12,969 --> 01:06:16,015 Rod Steiger ought to meet this guy. 976 01:06:16,146 --> 01:06:20,498 I'm gonna whomp her and tromp her and belly stomp her. 977 01:06:20,628 --> 01:06:22,108 You're going to what? 978 01:06:27,113 --> 01:06:28,549 Maybe she will. 979 01:06:28,680 --> 01:06:30,682 You was havin' a do with my man Franco. 980 01:06:30,812 --> 01:06:32,466 This I would like to hear. 981 01:06:39,604 --> 01:06:41,214 Grant Granite. 982 01:06:41,345 --> 01:06:42,346 Oh... 983 01:06:43,173 --> 01:06:45,218 Thank you, my dear. 984 01:06:45,349 --> 01:06:50,354 Sit down and have a drink. This may turn into a fun night after all. 985 01:06:50,484 --> 01:06:52,486 Goodbye, darling, thank you. 986 01:06:54,184 --> 01:06:56,142 Thank you for everything. 987 01:07:10,591 --> 01:07:11,723 Going to Castelli? 988 01:07:11,853 --> 01:07:13,768 Or any place else. 989 01:07:13,899 --> 01:07:14,726 Good. 990 01:07:34,354 --> 01:07:36,356 Oh, SignorDobbs. 991 01:07:39,316 --> 01:07:40,969 Signor.Me... 992 01:07:41,100 --> 01:07:43,450 Manglacavallo. Si, Mangia Mangla. 993 01:07:43,581 --> 01:07:45,539 Cavallo. Si, but do I go around screaming 994 01:07:45,670 --> 01:07:48,455 SignorMangia cavallo? Cavallo? No. No. 995 01:07:48,586 --> 01:07:50,544 Well, why do you persist in going around screaming SignorDobbs? 996 01:07:50,675 --> 01:07:52,242 Dobbs. Dobbs. 997 01:07:52,372 --> 01:07:55,288 I chose this hotel, because I wanted to get away from my... 998 01:07:55,419 --> 01:07:57,203 Your wife? My wife? My office. 999 01:07:57,334 --> 01:07:59,118 Ah, office. Si, si, so I call my sec... 1000 01:07:59,249 --> 01:08:01,381 Ah, your niece? Niece. 1001 01:08:01,512 --> 01:08:02,861 Secretary. Secretary? 1002 01:08:02,991 --> 01:08:04,906 Secretary, si.Secretary. 1003 01:08:05,037 --> 01:08:07,605 Ahead of us we have a weekend of very stiff... 1004 01:08:09,781 --> 01:08:12,523 That is one sentence I insist you complete yourself. 1005 01:08:14,960 --> 01:08:16,483 I was going to say work. 1006 01:08:16,614 --> 01:08:18,137 But you, sir, have smartmouthed your way 1007 01:08:18,268 --> 01:08:19,834 out of a substantial tip. 1008 01:08:20,879 --> 01:08:22,750 Your friends... 1009 01:08:22,881 --> 01:08:26,014 Are in the bar. 1010 01:08:26,145 --> 01:08:30,149 ♪ You went and put your heart in a Xerox machine... ♪ 1011 01:08:37,461 --> 01:08:41,508 I wasn't here. You have never seen me. 1012 01:08:41,639 --> 01:08:44,207 Ah, but in truth, I did. 1013 01:08:44,337 --> 01:08:46,905 And lying is a mortal sin. 1014 01:08:48,733 --> 01:08:49,951 Come on. 1015 01:08:51,388 --> 01:08:53,172 Mea culpa, mea culpa. 1016 01:08:57,872 --> 01:09:01,093 Where the hell do we go now? 1017 01:09:01,224 --> 01:09:03,791 I know just the place. You'll love it. 1018 01:09:03,922 --> 01:09:05,271 I hate it. 1019 01:09:05,402 --> 01:09:06,838 How can you? 1020 01:09:06,968 --> 01:09:09,449 Sleeping out under the stars. It's so exciting. 1021 01:09:09,580 --> 01:09:11,538 I'm not an outdoorsman. 1022 01:09:11,669 --> 01:09:14,672 I'm city, raised and bred. 1023 01:09:14,802 --> 01:09:18,023 And frankly I get hay fever watching Lassie on television. 1024 01:09:18,154 --> 01:09:20,417 Besides, I'm a 26-year-old man. 1025 01:09:20,547 --> 01:09:22,854 You don't feel like 26 years old. 1026 01:09:22,984 --> 01:09:24,160 That's because I'm dashing. 1027 01:09:24,290 --> 01:09:28,381 You are. You are. 1028 01:09:28,512 --> 01:09:30,862 Debonair, perhaps but dashing? 1029 01:09:30,992 --> 01:09:33,169 Dashing. Dashing, you are. 1030 01:09:33,952 --> 01:09:35,519 Dashing, well, 1031 01:09:35,649 --> 01:09:38,391 I really do prefer the word debonair, but I suppose if 1032 01:09:38,522 --> 01:09:40,393 you say I'm dashing, well... 1033 01:09:54,102 --> 01:09:57,105 Thank you very much. It was a great pleasure. 1034 01:09:57,236 --> 01:09:58,846 The pleasure was all mine. 1035 01:10:01,109 --> 01:10:02,546 So it seemed. 1036 01:10:14,775 --> 01:10:17,648 You know what's wonderful? 1037 01:10:17,778 --> 01:10:21,304 Yes, but let me hear your version. 1038 01:10:21,434 --> 01:10:26,352 Under the stars all alone just the two of us. 1039 01:10:33,446 --> 01:10:34,839 Bravo! 1040 01:11:05,391 --> 01:11:10,091 Ah, Mrs. Dobbs, you're so beautiful and wicked. 1041 01:11:10,222 --> 01:11:13,878 Tell me that beast of a husband drove you to it. Tell me. 1042 01:11:14,008 --> 01:11:15,706 Yes, but in a Ferrari. 1043 01:11:15,836 --> 01:11:19,187 When we find him, I'll fix him for you, good. 1044 01:11:19,318 --> 01:11:21,451 I know a little about surgery. 1045 01:11:21,581 --> 01:11:23,104 Don't you dare. 1046 01:11:25,672 --> 01:11:28,066 You're so exciting when you're angry. 1047 01:11:28,196 --> 01:11:29,023 I... 1048 01:11:34,986 --> 01:11:37,641 Some thoughtful strategy is required. 1049 01:11:39,033 --> 01:11:40,687 Discretion. 1050 01:11:40,818 --> 01:11:41,949 Sensitivity. 1051 01:11:42,907 --> 01:11:44,082 Subtlety. 1052 01:11:44,212 --> 01:11:45,997 Both ladies are equally beautiful. 1053 01:11:46,127 --> 01:11:47,912 Desirable. FRANCO: Exquisite. 1054 01:11:48,042 --> 01:11:50,131 Available. FRANCO: One hopes. 1055 01:11:51,481 --> 01:11:52,482 Come in, darling. 1056 01:11:57,574 --> 01:11:58,923 Oh, it's you. 1057 01:12:02,927 --> 01:12:04,711 You were expecting Charlie Harrison? 1058 01:12:04,842 --> 01:12:07,497 He is a movie star. Or Franco? 1059 01:12:07,627 --> 01:12:09,673 At least. It's getting late. 1060 01:12:10,891 --> 01:12:12,240 You're honest. 1061 01:12:12,371 --> 01:12:14,721 Yes. And Fred isn't. 1062 01:12:14,852 --> 01:12:17,463 Running away with Angelica. He's an idiot! 1063 01:12:17,594 --> 01:12:21,424 No, we're the idiots trying to change him. 1064 01:12:21,554 --> 01:12:26,342 He is what he is. That's why I married him. That's why you want him. 1065 01:12:26,472 --> 01:12:27,908 Are you always so blunt? 1066 01:12:28,039 --> 01:12:29,345 Always. 1067 01:12:30,650 --> 01:12:33,436 I know Fred better than you do. 1068 01:12:33,566 --> 01:12:35,002 That's why I'm still his wife. 1069 01:12:35,133 --> 01:12:36,439 No offense. 1070 01:12:36,569 --> 01:12:39,006 The wife he's been lying to all this time. 1071 01:12:39,137 --> 01:12:42,488 A man only lies to a woman if he wants to keep hold of her. 1072 01:12:42,619 --> 01:12:44,360 He lies to me. 1073 01:12:44,490 --> 01:12:46,362 He lies to me all the time. 1074 01:12:46,492 --> 01:12:48,233 Then he loves me, too. 1075 01:12:48,364 --> 01:12:49,887 Of course he does. 1076 01:12:54,413 --> 01:12:57,198 Sometimes I worry if he loves me. 1077 01:12:57,329 --> 01:12:59,592 I mean, really. 1078 01:12:59,723 --> 01:13:03,466 He loves you deeply. Devotedly. 1079 01:13:03,596 --> 01:13:06,164 I'm his wife, I should know. 1080 01:13:06,294 --> 01:13:11,517 He loves you with every atom of his being. 1081 01:13:11,648 --> 01:13:13,127 Are we talking about Fred? 1082 01:13:13,258 --> 01:13:14,433 Yes. 1083 01:13:18,959 --> 01:13:20,091 He loves you. 1084 01:13:23,268 --> 01:13:25,096 Also Liz, 1085 01:13:25,226 --> 01:13:27,228 Carolina, Estella, 1086 01:13:27,359 --> 01:13:29,840 Moira, Dorothy, 1087 01:13:29,970 --> 01:13:31,798 Ruth, Ingrid... 1088 01:13:35,933 --> 01:13:38,239 Perhaps we might decide by... 1089 01:13:38,370 --> 01:13:39,937 I feel I'm being crude. 1090 01:13:42,287 --> 01:13:44,724 You probably are, but go ahead anyway. 1091 01:13:45,333 --> 01:13:47,814 By flipping a coin. 1092 01:13:47,945 --> 01:13:50,469 You're right. You are crude. 1093 01:13:51,470 --> 01:13:52,515 Heads. 1094 01:13:53,341 --> 01:13:55,256 Pardon? 1095 01:13:55,387 --> 01:13:57,041 As a guest in your country, I have the right of first call. 1096 01:13:57,171 --> 01:13:58,129 Oh.Heads. 1097 01:13:59,913 --> 01:14:02,525 I knew you couldn't turn me down, 1098 01:14:02,655 --> 01:14:05,571 SignorDobbs. Darling. 1099 01:14:08,574 --> 01:14:10,184 Such rough legs, dearest. 1100 01:14:11,577 --> 01:14:13,187 I'll rub lotion on them. 1101 01:14:16,408 --> 01:14:19,106 Your arms could do with a bit of a shave, too. 1102 01:14:26,287 --> 01:14:27,550 Two out of three. 1103 01:14:34,992 --> 01:14:37,037 Okay, okay. Seven out of ten. 1104 01:14:46,873 --> 01:14:49,049 All right, all right, 17 outta 21. 1105 01:15:30,351 --> 01:15:33,746 If they smoked this at the UN, there'd be no more wars.. 1106 01:15:49,457 --> 01:15:51,677 Darling, it's 2:00. 1107 01:15:51,808 --> 01:15:54,245 Please, I'm still recovering from 1:00. 1108 01:16:13,264 --> 01:16:16,049 This is Cecil B. DeMillie, our movie director. 1109 01:16:18,138 --> 01:16:20,401 Those guys their knees are his assistants. 1110 01:16:24,536 --> 01:16:26,407 When he gives an order in Italian, 1111 01:16:26,538 --> 01:16:28,975 they translate into three languages. 1112 01:16:29,106 --> 01:16:31,717 Sort of walking subtitles. 1113 01:16:31,848 --> 01:16:34,807 That keeps it fair. Nobody understands. 1114 01:16:39,246 --> 01:16:42,380 I can't sleep, therefore we will shoot in 15 minutes. 1115 01:16:42,510 --> 01:16:44,600 The, er, the ex-boyfriend? 1116 01:16:46,036 --> 01:16:48,212 Yes, Cecil B. DeMille. 1117 01:16:48,342 --> 01:16:51,041 Wasn't there a great director by that name? 1118 01:16:51,171 --> 01:16:53,739 Of course. That's where he got it. 1119 01:16:53,870 --> 01:16:55,654 Oh, how stupid of me. 1120 01:17:00,354 --> 01:17:02,052 Oh, my dear. 1121 01:17:02,182 --> 01:17:03,401 Cecil. 1122 01:17:08,972 --> 01:17:10,103 Why isn't this man in makeup? 1123 01:17:22,594 --> 01:17:24,683 Privately, my dear, I'm sorry we broke up. 1124 01:17:24,814 --> 01:17:26,511 Stay away from my secretary, you maniac. 1125 01:17:34,258 --> 01:17:35,651 Don't speak again. You are an extra. 1126 01:17:35,781 --> 01:17:37,740 I don't even think 1127 01:17:37,870 --> 01:17:40,656 the gorilla would find me dashing. 1128 01:17:40,786 --> 01:17:42,658 Are you glad I won the toss? 1129 01:17:52,276 --> 01:17:55,061 What are you really looking for, Millie? 1130 01:17:55,192 --> 01:17:58,586 Mr. Right. And when I'm sure it's him, it's he and me 1131 01:17:58,717 --> 01:18:01,111 into the sunset. Fade out. 1132 01:18:01,241 --> 01:18:03,809 Please note I'm awfully good at sunsets. 1133 01:18:03,940 --> 01:18:05,332 What are my chances? 1134 01:18:05,463 --> 01:18:06,682 Both good. Both? 1135 01:18:06,812 --> 01:18:08,684 If Charlie Harrison doesn't get me, 1136 01:18:08,814 --> 01:18:10,163 Grant Granite could. 1137 01:18:18,519 --> 01:18:22,001 This is the first time we've been away since our honeymoon. 1138 01:18:22,132 --> 01:18:24,134 Are you certain that we're doing the right thing? 1139 01:18:24,264 --> 01:18:25,918 Trust me. 1140 01:18:26,049 --> 01:18:29,661 If I didn't think it was right, would I suggest a double suicide? 1141 01:18:29,792 --> 01:18:31,794 Of course not. 1142 01:18:31,924 --> 01:18:33,273 We should have done this years ago. 1143 01:18:33,404 --> 01:18:35,711 It's my fault. I've been so busy. 1144 01:18:54,468 --> 01:18:57,384 You just got to love a guy like me. 1145 01:19:05,218 --> 01:19:08,831 My angel. I'll see you at breakfast, my darling. 1146 01:19:08,961 --> 01:19:11,790 But why, my love? ORNELLA: I have a headache, my dearest. 1147 01:19:11,921 --> 01:19:13,923 I will massage it for you, my sweet. 1148 01:19:14,053 --> 01:19:15,968 Somebody already is, my treasure. 1149 01:19:17,230 --> 01:19:18,405 What can I say? 1150 01:19:18,536 --> 01:19:20,059 Try "goodnight." 1151 01:19:20,190 --> 01:19:21,191 Goodnight? 1152 01:19:21,321 --> 01:19:23,410 Goodnight. 1153 01:19:24,716 --> 01:19:27,719 Well, it's my own fault. 1154 01:19:27,850 --> 01:19:29,895 I should have told her to save my place. 1155 01:19:30,026 --> 01:19:30,809 Bah! 1156 01:20:04,669 --> 01:20:07,193 Oh, bravo. 1157 01:20:08,586 --> 01:20:10,762 It's SignorDobbs. 1158 01:20:10,893 --> 01:20:12,546 Darling. Ooh. 1159 01:20:25,908 --> 01:20:27,910 I worry. 1160 01:20:28,040 --> 01:20:31,217 This is the first time that we've ever left the children alone. 1161 01:20:31,348 --> 01:20:34,438 Sooner or later they'll have to face life without us. 1162 01:20:34,568 --> 01:20:36,744 In this case, sooner. 1163 01:20:36,875 --> 01:20:38,834 They're so innocent. So young. 1164 01:20:39,922 --> 01:20:41,706 True. 1165 01:20:41,837 --> 01:20:44,274 Eva's only 20 and little Adolph is only 15. 1166 01:20:44,404 --> 01:20:46,406 Exactly. 1167 01:20:46,537 --> 01:20:48,931 I feel uneasy about the way you locked them into their rooms. 1168 01:20:49,061 --> 01:20:52,760 We must be firm. They're too big to sleep together any longer. 1169 01:20:52,891 --> 01:20:55,415 Oh, I know, but my little Adolph. 1170 01:20:55,546 --> 01:20:58,723 I mean, how is he going to feed himself if he's locked in? 1171 01:20:58,854 --> 01:21:01,334 Just like usual. Eva will break down the door, 1172 01:21:01,465 --> 01:21:03,510 carry him downstairs, strap him to his highchair 1173 01:21:03,641 --> 01:21:05,991 and force feed him, just like you do. 1174 01:21:06,122 --> 01:21:08,124 It's different. I'm his mother. 1175 01:21:08,254 --> 01:21:10,126 I just hope I'm his father. 1176 01:21:10,256 --> 01:21:11,301 So do I. 1177 01:21:52,124 --> 01:21:54,997 Rome wasn't made in a day. 1178 01:21:55,127 --> 01:21:57,042 But these spaghetti westerns are. 1179 01:22:00,437 --> 01:22:01,568 Action! 1180 01:22:12,884 --> 01:22:13,841 Go, go. 1181 01:22:24,591 --> 01:22:29,205 I can't imagine Dobbs spending the night out-of-doors. 1182 01:22:29,335 --> 01:22:33,818 Didn't you tell me that he was even allergic to artificial flowers? 1183 01:22:33,949 --> 01:22:36,081 Angelica is very persuasive when she makes up her... 1184 01:22:36,212 --> 01:22:37,865 Body. 1185 01:22:37,996 --> 01:22:41,086 I was going to say mind, but you're probably right. 1186 01:23:35,836 --> 01:23:36,663 Where? 1187 01:23:39,840 --> 01:23:40,754 Well? 1188 01:24:26,800 --> 01:24:28,846 Fred! 1189 01:24:30,195 --> 01:24:31,588 C. Dobbs? 1190 01:25:02,836 --> 01:25:04,621 You think of everything. 1191 01:25:18,200 --> 01:25:20,158 This is Charlie Harrison. 1192 01:25:20,289 --> 01:25:22,639 Hi.You look like Grant Granite to me. 1193 01:25:22,769 --> 01:25:24,380 Thank you, my dear. 1194 01:25:24,510 --> 01:25:26,338 Dobbs, I'm an admirer of your work. 1195 01:25:26,469 --> 01:25:28,906 Personal as well as professional. 1196 01:25:29,036 --> 01:25:30,647 I'd like to buy the screen rights to your new play. 1197 01:25:37,393 --> 01:25:40,047 Now then, this may seem a little hard-hearted 1198 01:25:40,178 --> 01:25:44,530 but I have a lot to gain from you and Millie here fighting. 1199 01:25:44,661 --> 01:25:47,403 Sorry to disappoint you, but we're not going to fight. 1200 01:25:47,533 --> 01:25:49,100 Oh, no? 1201 01:25:49,231 --> 01:25:51,407 Try this for size. 1202 01:25:51,537 --> 01:25:54,845 How are you going to explain your, uh, secretary? 1203 01:25:54,975 --> 01:25:57,152 And all this to Millie. 1204 01:25:57,282 --> 01:25:59,458 Oh, we never fight.Exactly. 1205 01:25:59,589 --> 01:26:01,330 And not that it's any of your business but I was going to tell her the truth. 1206 01:26:01,460 --> 01:26:03,897 The truth? Mmm. 1207 01:26:04,028 --> 01:26:05,595 You'd no longer lie to me? 1208 01:26:12,471 --> 01:26:14,560 You mean you want me to lie to you? 1209 01:26:14,691 --> 01:26:16,040 Of course. 1210 01:26:16,171 --> 01:26:18,085 Then I'd know you still cared. 1211 01:26:18,216 --> 01:26:19,696 Perfect. Perfect. 1212 01:26:19,826 --> 01:26:22,916 I've got a nasty feeling this is it. 1213 01:26:23,047 --> 01:26:25,484 Fred C. Dobbs, hear me good. 1214 01:26:25,615 --> 01:26:28,183 I'm going to Rome and when you get back I 1215 01:26:29,923 --> 01:26:31,360 won't be there. 1216 01:26:43,415 --> 01:26:46,592 John Wilkes Booth, also an actor. 1217 01:26:54,948 --> 01:26:56,472 Hold my hand. 1218 01:26:58,909 --> 01:27:02,391 Forever, from here to eternity, 1219 01:27:35,467 --> 01:27:36,512 No! 1220 01:27:42,561 --> 01:27:46,609 Oh, perfidy! Oh, treachery. Oh, disappointment. 1221 01:28:12,896 --> 01:28:14,419 Oh. Oh. 1222 01:28:49,498 --> 01:28:51,238 Get rid of that blonde. 1223 01:28:51,369 --> 01:28:53,458 How does she know I'm a blonde? 1224 01:28:53,589 --> 01:28:54,981 Where did I go wrong? 1225 01:28:55,939 --> 01:28:57,680 You gland! 1226 01:28:57,810 --> 01:28:59,769 I'd stop smoking if I was you. 1227 01:29:33,368 --> 01:29:35,631 All this over me? 1228 01:29:53,910 --> 01:29:55,215 I call the police! 1229 01:29:56,869 --> 01:29:59,219 It's a nightmare. I'll wake up. 1230 01:29:59,350 --> 01:30:01,396 My clothes will be on and it will all go away. 1231 01:30:01,526 --> 01:30:03,441 Police! Police! 1232 01:30:10,709 --> 01:30:12,145 Come on! 1233 01:30:13,277 --> 01:30:14,670 Ooh! 1234 01:30:53,012 --> 01:30:54,623 Giddup. 1235 01:31:19,952 --> 01:31:20,953 Go on! 1236 01:31:22,825 --> 01:31:23,695 Ooh! 1237 01:31:26,132 --> 01:31:27,656 Here! 1238 01:31:30,441 --> 01:31:31,703 Hang on! 1239 01:32:04,693 --> 01:32:06,738 Bring back my stagecoach. 1240 01:32:06,869 --> 01:32:08,827 You're damn right, we will! 1241 01:32:54,351 --> 01:32:57,180 Just don't have this kind of fun in... Alabama? 1242 01:32:57,310 --> 01:32:58,529 Right. 1243 01:33:00,792 --> 01:33:04,579 We're Baptists back home. I sure like these Catholic countries 1244 01:33:36,523 --> 01:33:37,786 It's them! 1245 01:33:39,004 --> 01:33:39,701 Here. 1246 01:33:55,717 --> 01:33:56,848 Excuse me. 1247 01:35:57,099 --> 01:35:58,448 Fred? 1248 01:35:58,578 --> 01:36:01,407 Hey, what the hell do you think this is, a library? 1249 01:36:01,538 --> 01:36:04,454 No sleeping here. Oh, no sleeping in here, no sleeping at home. 1250 01:36:04,584 --> 01:36:06,456 Ah, nightmares again, eh? 1251 01:36:06,586 --> 01:36:08,414 What again? Still! 1252 01:36:08,545 --> 01:36:10,155 That dammed gorilla. 1253 01:36:10,286 --> 01:36:12,810 Must you forever trouble me with your sleazy fantasies? 1254 01:36:12,941 --> 01:36:15,770 We were talking about that fateful weekend at Castelli. 1255 01:36:15,900 --> 01:36:18,424 Oh, Castelli. 1256 01:36:22,559 --> 01:36:25,518 You know, that happened almost a year ago, 1257 01:36:25,649 --> 01:36:27,085 but it seems like yesterday. 1258 01:36:27,216 --> 01:36:29,784 Whatever became of all those loonies? Hmm? 1259 01:36:29,914 --> 01:36:32,917 Oh, my ex-wife married Grant Granite. 1260 01:36:33,048 --> 01:36:35,790 She'd never acted before, so she became the biggest star in Hollywood. 1261 01:37:06,821 --> 01:37:10,128 Those were real bullets. Now Millie owns Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer. 1262 01:37:17,657 --> 01:37:20,704 And whatever happened to that motorcycle hick? Hesther? 1263 01:37:20,835 --> 01:37:23,011 She went home and was elected governor of Alabama. 1264 01:37:23,141 --> 01:37:26,536 I solemnly swear 1265 01:37:26,666 --> 01:37:30,540 to uphold the Constitution of this here State. 1266 01:37:30,670 --> 01:37:32,803 Yeah! 1267 01:37:32,934 --> 01:37:35,066 And your ex-mistress, what was her name? 1268 01:37:35,197 --> 01:37:36,589 Ornella Piacentini. 1269 01:37:36,720 --> 01:37:37,852 Aah! 1270 01:37:37,982 --> 01:37:39,505 She decided to lead a more quiet life. 1271 01:37:40,855 --> 01:37:42,552 And so did Franco. 1272 01:37:46,817 --> 01:37:50,386 And what about that little chiropodist, Dr. Ponti? 1273 01:37:50,516 --> 01:37:52,692 Doing three to five. 1274 01:37:52,823 --> 01:37:55,521 Got caught treating an old sea captain for athlete's foot. 1275 01:37:55,652 --> 01:37:58,046 So? On a wooden leg? 1276 01:37:58,176 --> 01:38:01,310 Doctor! 1277 01:38:01,440 --> 01:38:05,488 She's... Still with me, just like you. 1278 01:38:05,618 --> 01:38:07,882 Oh, but I'm not.Oh. 1279 01:38:08,012 --> 01:38:11,189 I'm destroying your whole lousy fleet. 1280 01:38:15,019 --> 01:38:17,369 No more treatments. 1281 01:38:17,500 --> 01:38:19,197 No more pain. 1282 01:38:19,981 --> 01:38:21,852 It's you 1283 01:38:21,983 --> 01:38:23,419 who's been causing those nightmares. 1284 01:38:23,549 --> 01:38:25,116 Me? 1285 01:38:25,247 --> 01:38:27,684 You're out of your crazy head. It's your gorilla. 1286 01:38:27,814 --> 01:38:30,034 Gorilla? There is no such thing as that gorilla. 1287 01:38:30,861 --> 01:38:32,210 It's an hallucination. 1288 01:38:34,691 --> 01:38:35,822 Sheer fantasy. 1289 01:38:38,303 --> 01:38:39,304 Milton? 1290 01:38:39,435 --> 01:38:42,220 I love you. 1291 01:38:51,534 --> 01:38:53,971 How can you expect Fred to return your love 1292 01:38:54,102 --> 01:38:56,060 when you're losing your hair? 1293 01:38:56,669 --> 01:38:58,106 Eh? 1294 01:38:58,236 --> 01:39:00,412 Well, Fred, it's you and I. 1295 01:39:00,543 --> 01:39:02,371 Happily ever after. 1296 01:39:02,501 --> 01:39:04,939 I doubt it, but we'll give it a try. 1297 01:39:05,069 --> 01:39:06,418 That we will. 1298 01:39:28,788 --> 01:39:30,616 ♪ So, groove into it ♪ 1299 01:39:30,747 --> 01:39:32,227 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 1300 01:39:32,357 --> 01:39:35,186 ♪ Be free, just groove into it ♪ 1301 01:39:36,274 --> 01:39:38,450 ♪ Come on, move into it ♪ 1302 01:39:38,581 --> 01:39:39,582 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 1303 01:39:39,712 --> 01:39:43,673 ♪ You'll see you'll groove into it ♪ 1304 01:39:43,803 --> 01:39:48,504 ♪ Come on and move and groove and move and groove and move ♪ 1305 01:39:50,723 --> 01:39:52,464 ♪ I wanna groove ♪ 1306 01:39:56,773 --> 01:39:58,079 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1307 01:39:58,209 --> 01:39:59,123 ♪ Pussycat ♪